Hi Everyone, I’m Emma, a 30, soon to be 31, year old Mumma and wife who lives with Fibromyalgia. I say lives with as it’s like the annoying hotel guest on holiday blaring the music in the room next to you or the one falling over the loungers at the pool because they are drunk. You just want them to disappear… that is defo Fibro.
If you ask me what caused my fibro? … well I would love to know. I honestly have no idea and neither does any GP, rheumatologist, or specialist I have seen. All I know is that one day I woke up in a ‘straitjacket’ situation and I was no longer just a Mumma and a wife, I was The Fibro Wife. I was a shadow of the person I was before. I couldn’t sleep, I was constantly fatigued. My bones were sore, my muscles were sore, I had a sore head, my jaw was sore, I was just a big existing lump of soreness.
I was a new mum and prior to having my daughter, I had a few years of constant viral infections, chest infections, and just being completely run down. Each time I had gone to the doctors it was just the usual, it’s just viral, or it’s just the flu or an infection. It was either take paracetamol or here is another course of antibiotics. The infections would clear but the drained feeling, the aches, and the complete fatigue never went away. This went on for about 2.5 years, back and forth, and no answers. No infections, bloods clear… was it in my head? Finally, my GP gave me one last ‘full mot’, as she calls it, of bloods and tests which surprisingly all came back… clear! And so, a referral to rheumatology was made and well the rest is history…
In all honesty, the journey to my diagnosis, the millions of appointments, and the discussions with the GP and the rheumatologist, was very draining, upsetting, frustrating, and everything anyone on that journey is probably experiencing right now. I was that very person and I felt, and do still feel, all those emotions.
Now I don’t see the point on dwelling on it as much. It’s taken me a long while to accept it and accept the ‘new me’ and I’m taking it day by day.
I’ve tried medications … the strong stuff, and I’ve chosen not to try others because medication isn’t for me. I still need painkillers most days but I also like to function with my wee one so I rely on rest, pacing, and alternative methods like CBT therapy which has really helped with my current journey and my blogging.
For anyone starting their journey on the route to diagnosis or recently diagnosed… I know how you feel, I know the frustrations, the anger when you feel like everyone is doubting you and you begin to question your own sanity, and if the pain is real. It’s real! Fibromyalgia is real! When you get a chance and it’s the right time … be kind to yourself and give yourself time to understand. That’s when you really begin to appreciate what will be and what can no longer be.
If you want to come on my journey, follow my daily blog, it’s not all roses and sunshine but it’s the truth.
Love and hugs The Fibro Wife.
Fibro Ramblings: Thanks so much Emma! I am so grateful that you have shared your story, as each face and story added raises Fibromyalgia awareness.